Children and Conflict in the Classroom
Among the many tasks of
early childhood, two stand out: to communicate needs in a
respectful way to other children and to listen with respect to the ideas of
others. These areas of learning are important to all young children, but
especially to those who participate in group settings away from home—preschool
and child care programs, playgroups, or summer camps. With the support of
knowledgeable adults, children are able to learn the skills necessary for
effective communication within peer groups.
As children learn to be
together in a group, they will inevitably experience conflict with another
child. Many adults find conflict among children frustrating and feel uncertain
about how to be helpful. However, when adults are thoughtful and skilled in
their approach to classroom conflict, children benefit. Conflict resolution is
an important foundation for future growth and learning.
What is conflict?
Conflict is defined as a
challenge to the way a person thinks or behaves. It can be an uncomfortable
process for young children, causing one, both, or all children involved
uneasiness, fear, or a range of other strong emotions.
Conflict is a natural and
daily occurrence in early childhood programs. It is typical for young children
in early childhood programs to experience conflict over:
·
toys
·
relationships
·
ideas
·
space
·
power
·
incomplete understanding
Through conflict, children
learn. Conflict can be a positive or negative force in learning. In order for
the learning to promote positive growth — emotionally, socially, and
intellectually — two conditions are recommended:
1. That
classroom conflict is kept at an optimal level. Too much conflict
is overwhelming and can lead to overstimulation or withdrawal. Too little
conflict is under-challenging for children and can lead to educational
complacency.
2. That
classroom conflict is met with support from adults who facilitatepeaceful
conflict resolution.
What is peaceful conflict
resolution?
Peaceful conflict
resolution in the early childhood classroom is working through a problem or
conflict in a way that does not physically, emotionally, or socially hurt
anyone involved.
Peaceful conflict
resolution provides children with opportunities to feel competent in handling
situations and relationships. It fosters feelings of respect for the self and
other people, as well as respect for new ideas.
What is the teacher’s role
in peaceful conflict resolution?
The teacher’s role in
peaceful conflict resolution is to
·
anticipate that conflict will
occur within groups of children
·
respond to children as
conflict occurs naturally in the classroom
·
support all children in
conflict with the intent to promote positive growth
Teachers often find their
role in peaceful conflict resolution a challenge. The following six strategies
assist teachers in defining their role and relationship to children and
conflict:
1. Preparing
for conflict
2. Knowing
about children
3. Knowing
each child
4. Creating
a culture of respect
5. Making
decisions
6. Refocusing
conflict to teach
Children have opportunities
to learn positively when teachers respond to conflict with peaceful conflict
resolution strategies.
Preparing for Conflict
A prepared teacher is ready
to spend the day with children. A prepared teacher knows that some of
the day with children will include child-child conflict.
Peaceful conflict
resolution is supported or hindered by the role a teacher takes when conflict
occurs between children. Teachers who unintentionally hinder peaceful conflict
resolution may try to avoid classroom conflict, punish children who experience
social conflict, fix classroom conflict for children, or let children work out
conflict for themselves. Teachers who consistently respond to typical classroom
conflict in any of these ways teach children to comply with the teacher’s
expectations at the expense of the child’s development, to withdraw in
conflict, to be helpless, or to survive in conflict. None of these outcomes for
children are supportive of peaceful conflict resolution. A prepared
teacher approaches child-child classroom conflict by being supportive to
children in very intentional ways.
One of the reasons a
teacher may hinder peaceful conflict resolution in the classroom is because she
has not taken the time to reflect on her personal or professional experiences
with conflict. Everyone has experiences with conflict — from early childhood
days to the present. These experiences produce strong feelings and memories
that guide personal and professional responses to conflict. These feelings and
memories can lead teachers to miss the value of classroom conflict and to seek
a conflict-free teaching environment. A prepared teacher knows that
conflict has educational and social value in children’s development.
Many teachers find that
thinking about teaching, evaluating the effectiveness of the day with children,
and planning for the future is a helpful process. Reflection is the
professional process of thinking, evaluating, and planning. Reflection is:
·
becoming aware of feelings about conflict
·
acknowledging the real experiences with
conflict that guide personal and professional feelings about conflict
·
observing or being aware of teaching
practices
·
being aware of children’s responses to
teaching
·
thinking about the decisions made and the
actions taken as a teacher
·
celebrating successes and preparing for
professional growth where it is needed
Reflection is a recommended
process for new and experienced teachers. A prepared teacher is
reflective about her or his feelings, knowledge, and practice in response to
conflict in the early childhood classroom.
Educational resources are
available for teachers who want to explore peaceful conflict resolution
practices. Resources can be informal or formal. Colleagues, supervisors,
classes, professional readings, and discussion groups can all provide support
to teachers. A prepared teacher is open to learning about peaceful
conflict resolution and will seek out resources to support learning.
Teachers and early
childhood programs have choices about what is emphasized in classrooms. When
peaceful conflict resolution is a priority, teachers handle conflict as it
occurs, without feeling that it interrupts real learning. When a
prepared teacher is committed to peaceful conflict resolution, handling
conflict effectively becomes a classroom priority.
Other Strategies
Anticipating conflict and
preparing for its occurrence in the classroom are important first steps in
effectively handling children’s conflict. Other strategies are critical for
teachers to develop: the knowledge of child development and early childhood
curriculum; respect for and sensitivity to children and families that shows in
every interaction, in every communication, and in every area of the classroom;
the knowledge, skill, and confidence to decide how to respond to conflict based
on the situation and the children involved; and, the ability to use common
conflict situations in teaching in ways that benefit everyone in the classroom.
Manageable conflict
situations in the classroom provide children with opportunities to feel
competent, to handle and learn in new situations and relationships, and to
foster feelings of respect for other people and new ideas. Therefore conflict
and conflict resolution are not viewed as interfering with the child’s
experience or the teacher’s plans in the classroom, but rather as an expected
and essential part of early childhood curriculum.
Four Recommended Strategies
for Teachers of Young Children
1) Stepping in quickly to
stop dangerous behaviors and to keep children from getting hurt.
Examples:
·
Teachers use differentiated responses and
strategies based on the individual children involved. Therefore, teachers are
able to assess, and children are able to express intention. An accident is an
accident and is treated differently from intentional aggression.
·
Opportunities for restitution are available
and handled positively. Both/all children are respected in every conflict.
2) Not stepping in too soon
when conflict begins.
Examples:
·
Teachers' calmness about conflict is
pervasive.
·
Classroom systems reassure and empower
children.
3) Watching children as
they interact with others or use materials.
Examples:
·
Teachers analyze children's behaviors by
observing and being physically close to children at play. They are alert to
chronic conflict seeking behaviors in children, are sensitive to all children,
and approach children in conflict without prejudging children's behaviors.
·
Teachers realize that they are a
resource and that children are capable people ("what can I do?"
and "what can you do?"). Children are trusted to succeed.
4) Interacting with
children actively.
Examples:
·
Teachers provide the framework to help
children know where and how to begin to resolve conflict, and to help children
see conflict situations accurately and in an understandable context. ("You
wanted the window blocks and so did you. You took them from her so you could
have them right now.")
·
Talking and listening to each other is
encouraged. Teachers are respectful. They often restate and summarize as well
as describe what they see and hear. ("I'll hold the blocks so they'll be
safe while we work this out. You look mad that he took the window blocks from
you". The teacher listens. "You look upset that you can't have
the blocks now. Hmmm, you both want the blocks." What are your ideas about
how we could figure this out?" The teacher listens and continues to
facilitate conversation and problem solving.)
Excerpted and adapted from
Children and Conflict: An Opportunity for Learning in the Early Childhood
Classroom, NAEYC #8005, Copyright 2000, Cindy Finch, M.A. and Lisa Wirtanen,
M.A.
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