Dear Sister L: I
have learned of your contemplated marriage with one
who is not
united with you in religious faith, and I fear that you have not
carefully
weighed this important matter. Before taking a step which is to
exert an
influence
361
upon all your
future life, I urge you to give the subject careful and
prayerful
deliberation. Will this new relationship prove a source of true
happiness? Will
it be a help to you in the Christian life? Will it be pleasing
to God? Will
your example be a safe one for others to follow?
Before giving
her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire
whether he with
whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What
has been his
past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses
of a noble,
elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he
the traits of
character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace
and joy in his
affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality,
or must her
judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of
her husband? As
a disciple of Christ, she is not her own; she has been
bought with a
price. Can she honor the Saviour’s claims as supreme?
Will body and
soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy?
These questions
have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman
who enters the
marriage relation.
Religion is
needed in the home. Only this can prevent the grievous
wrongs which so
often embitter married life. Only where Christ reigns can
there be deep,
true, unselfish love. Then soul will be knit with soul, and
the two lives
will blend in harmony. Angels of God will be guests in the
home, and their
holy vigils will hallow the marriage chamber. Debasing
sensuality will
be banished. Upward to God will the thoughts be directed;
to Him will the
heart’s devotion ascend.
The heart yearns
for human love, but this love is not strong enough,
or pure enough,
or precious enough, to supply the place of the love of
Jesus. Only in
her Saviour can the wife find wisdom, strength, and grace
to meet the
cares, responsibilities, and sorrows of life. She should make
Him her strength
and her guide. Let woman give herself to Christ before
giving herself
to any earthly friend, and enter into no relation which shall
conflict with
this. Those who would find true happiness
362
must have the
blessing of heaven upon all that they possess and all that
they do. It is
disobedience to God that fills so many hearts and homes with
misery. My
sister, unless you would have a home where the shadows are
never lifted, do
not unite yourself with one who is an enemy of God.
As one who
expects to meet these words in the judgment, I entreat
you to ponder
the step you contemplate taking. Ask yourself: “Will not
an unbelieving
husband lead my thoughts away from Jesus? He is a lover
of pleasure more
than a lover of God; will he not lead me to enjoy the
things that he
enjoys?” The path to eternal life is steep and rugged. Take
no additional
weights to retard your progress. You have too little spiritual
strength, and
you need help instead of hindrance.
The Lord
commanded ancient Israel not to intermarry with the
idolatrous
nations around them: “Neither shalt thou make marriages with
them; thy
daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt
thou take unto
thy son.” The reason is given. Infinite Wisdom, foreseeing
the result of
such unions, declares: “For they will turn away thy son from
following Me,
that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the
Lord be kindled
against you, and destroy thee suddenly.” “For thou art an
holy people unto
the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to
be a special
people unto Himself, above all people that are upon the face of
the earth.” “Know
therefore that the Lord thy God, He is God, the faithful
God, which
keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love Him and
keep His
commandments to a thousand generations; and repayeth them
that hate Him to
their face, to destroy them: He will not be slack to him
that hateth Him,
He will repay him to his face.”
In the New
Testament are similar prohibitions concerning the marriage
of Christians
with the ungodly. The apostle Paul, in his first letter to
the Corinthians,
declares: “The wife is bound by the law as long as her
husband liveth;
but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married
to whom
363
she will; only
in the Lord.” Again, in his second epistle, he writes: “Be ye
not unequally
yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath
righteousness
with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with
darkness? and
what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he
that believeth
with an infidel? and what agreement hath the temple of God
with idols? for
ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will
dwell in them,
and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be
My people.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate,
saith the Lord,
and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and
will be a Father
unto you, and ye shall be My sons and daughters, saith
the Lord
Almighty.” My sister, dare you disregard these plain and positive directions?
As a child of God, a subject of Christ’s kingdom, the purchase of His blood, how
can you connect yourself with one who does not acknowledge His
claims, who is
not controlled by His Spirit? The commands I have quoted
are not the word
of man, but of God. Though the companion of your
choice were in
all other respects worthy (which he is not), yet he has not
accepted the
truth for this time; he is an unbeliever, and you are forbidden
of heaven to
unite yourself with him. You cannot, without peril to your
soul, disregard
this divine injunction. I would warn you of your danger before it shall be too
late. You listen to smooth, pleasant words and are led to believe that all will
be well; but you do not read the motives that prompt these fair speeches. You
cannot see the depths of wickedness hidden in the heart. You cannot look behind
the scenes and discern the snares that Satan is laying for your soul. He
would lead you
to pursue such a course that he can obtain easy access
to aim his
shafts of temptation against you. Do not give him the least
advantage. While
God moves upon the minds of His servants, Satan works
through the
children of disobedience. There is no concord between Christ
and Belial. The
two cannot harmonize. To connect with an unbeliever is
to place
364
yourself on
Satan’s ground. You grieve the Spirit of God and forfeit
His protection.
Can you afford to have such terrible odds against you
in fighting the
battle for everlasting life?
You may say: “But
I have given my promise, and shall I now retract
it?” I answer:
If you have made a promise contrary to the Scriptures, by
all means
retract it without delay, and in humility before God repent of
the infatuation
that led you to make so rash a pledge. Far better take back
such a promise,
in the fear of God, than keep it and thereby dishonor your
Maker. Remember,
you have a heaven to gain, an open path to perdition to
shun. God means
what He says. When He prohibited our first parents
from eating the
fruit of the tree of knowledge, their disobedience opened
the floodgates
of woe to the whole world. If we walk contrary to God, He
will walk
contrary to us. Our only safe course is to render obedience to all
His
requirements, at whatever cost. All are founded in infinite love and
wisdom. The
spirit of intense worldliness that now exists, the disposition to
acknowledge no
higher claim than that of self-gratification, constitutes
one of the signs
of the last days. “As it was in the days of Noah,”
said Christ, “so
shall it be also in the days of the Son of man. They
did eat, they
drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage,
until the day
that Noah entered into the ark, and the Flood came, and
destroyed them
all.” The people of this generation are marrying and giving
in marriage with
the same reckless disregard of God’s requirements as
was manifested
in the days of Noah. There is in the Christian world
an astonishing,
alarming indifference to the teaching of God’s word in
regard to the
marriage of Christians with unbelievers. Many who profess
to love and fear
God choose to follow the bent of their own minds rather
than take
counsel of Infinite Wisdom. In a matter which vitally concerns
the happiness
and well-being of both parties for this world and the next,
reason,
judgment, and the fear of God are set aside, and blind impulse,
stubborn
determination, is
365
allowed to
control. Men and women who are otherwise sensible and
conscientious
close their ears to counsel; they are deaf to the appeals
and entreaties
of friends and kindred and of the servants of God. The
expression of a
caution or warning is regarded as impertinent meddling,
and the friend
who is faithful enough to utter a remonstrance is treated as
an enemy. All
this is as Satan would have it. He weaves his spell about the
soul, and it
becomes bewitched, infatuated. Reason lets fall the reins of
self-control
upon the neck of lust, unsanctified passion bears sway, until,
too late, the
victim awakens to a life of misery and bondage. This is not
a picture drawn
by the imagination, but a recital of facts. God’s sanction
is not given to
unions which He has expressly forbidden. For years I have
been receiving
letters from different persons who have formed unhappy
marriages, and
the revolting histories opened before me are enough to
make the heart
ache. It is no easy thing to decide what advice can be
given to these
unfortunate ones, or how their hard lot can be lightened;
but their sad
experience should be a warning to others.
In this age of
the world, as the scenes of earth’s history are soon to
close and we are
about to enter upon the time of trouble such as never
was, the fewer
the marriages contracted, the better for all, both men and
women. Above
all, when Satan is working with all deceivableness of
unrighteousness
in them that perish, let Christians beware of connecting
themselves with
unbelievers. God has spoken. All who fear Him will
submit to His
wise injunctions. Our feelings, impulses, and affections
must flow
heavenward, not earthward, not in the low, base channel of
sensual thought
and indulgence. It is time now that every soul should
stand as in the
sight of the heart-searching God.
My dear sister,
as a disciple of Jesus you should inquire what will be
the influence of
the step you are about to take, not only upon yourself,
but upon others.
The followers of Christ are to be co-workers with their
Master; they
must be “blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without
rebuke, in
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the midst of a
crooked and perverse nation, among whom,” says Paul, “ye
shine as lights
in the world.” We are to receive the bright beams from
the Sun of
Righteousness, and by our good works let them shine forth to
others in clear,
steady rays, never fitful, never growing dim. We cannot be
sure that we are
doing no harm to those about us unless we are exerting a
positive
influence to lead them heavenward.
“Ye are My
witnesses,” said Jesus, and in each act of our lives we
should inquire:
How will our course affect the interests of the Redeemer’s
kingdom? If you
are indeed Christ’s disciple, you will choose to walk in
His footsteps,
however painful this may be to your natural feelings. Said
Paul: “God
forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus
Christ, by whom
the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.”
You, Sister L,
need to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn of Him, as did
Mary of old. God
requires of you an entire surrender of your will, your
plans and
purposes. Jesus is your leader; to Him you must look, in Him
you must trust,
and you must permit nothing to deter you from the life
of consecration
which you owe to God. Your conversation must be in
heaven, from
whence you look for your Saviour. Your piety must be of a
character to
make itself felt by all within the sphere of your influence. God
requires you in
every act of life to shun the very appearance of evil. Are
you doing this?
You are under the most sacred obligation not to belittle
or compromise
your holy faith by uniting with the Lord’s enemies. If you
are tempted to
disregard the injunctions of His word because others have
done so,
remember that your example also will exert an influence. Others
will do as you do,
and thus the evil will be extended. While you profess
to be a child of
God, a departure on your part from His requirements will
result in
infinite harm to those who look to you for guidance.
The salvation of
souls will be the constant aim of those who are
abiding in
Christ. But what have you done to show forth the praises of
Him who has
called you out of darkness? “Awake, thou that sleepest, and
arise from the
dead, and
367
Christ shall
give thee light.” Shake off this fatal infatuation that benumbs
your senses and
palsies the energies of the soul.
The very
strongest incentives to faithfulness are set before us, the
highest motives,
the most glorious rewards. Christians are to be Christ’s
representatives,
sons and daughters of God. They are His jewels, His
peculiar
treasures. Of all who will maintain their steadfastness He
declares: “They
shall walk with Me in white: for they are worthy.” Those
who reach the
portals of eternal bliss will not count that any sacrifice
which they have
made was too great. May God help you to stand the test and preserve your
integrity. Cling by faith to Jesus. Disappoint not your Redeemer. St. Helena,
California, February 13, 1885.
*****
REFFERENCE
Testimonies
for the Church
Volume
Five
Ellen
G. White
1889,page 361-367
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